How to tolerate a colleague you can't stand

Do you also have someone you can't stand at work? Almost all of us have had this type of person at work. Even someone we can't stand. Yes, that person who can get on your nerves and who, no matter what they do or say, we will never see in a good light. But the truth is that hating a partner only makes the job harder. And it uses up a lot of energy.

If that's your current situation with one of your colleagues, or if it's happened to you and you want to avoid it happening again, here's some advice from two experts that might help you cope better. With luck, it might even make the working day more pleasant.

1. Confront the problem
People who get on badly with each other often avoid talking to each other directly. This does not help us at all and, moreover, can make the atmosphere even more strained. It may not be easy, but sometimes the quickest (and most productive) solution is to sit down with that person and talk out your differences.

Some people can develop mechanisms that help them tolerate the presence and coexistence with that person, but it rarely makes the situation better, and by the end of the day, years have passed, and you still hate this partner.

The solution is often a bit of courage. An honest conversation with a colleague you don't like can solve the problem in one fell swoop and the long run.

2. Examine your attitude
The way others see us is not necessarily the way we see ourselves. While we may think we are charming, others may perceive us as very intimidating.

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So before we see the flaws in others, we need to think about what image we give others and what we may be doing wrong to generate a feeling of rejection from them.

We may not realize it, and the image we project is that of an arrogant person, which is why our peers may treat us differently. These misunderstandings lead to the fact that, in the end, no one understands the other person's behavior, and no one ends up benefiting from the other person's different skills and experiences. Your colleague may be a great essay writer and try to share their work with you to tell about their passion - not to boast or anything.

3. Put yourself in their shoes
Even if it is difficult, we must also try to be more empathetic. Ask questions and seek to understand the other person's point of view. Then show them that you understand their position by summarizing what they have just said. That's a potent tool for reaching an agreement.

It's not about always giving in, but about showing the other person that you understand and value their point of view. Listen to the other person's opinion and let them see that you hear and value it. It will improve the relationship between the two of you.

Often, people try to convince others to adopt their arguments, but if you show that you listen and are willing to understand theirs, you will have a much more fruitful conversation.

4. Be realistic and objective
Analyze the situation with a cool head and consider essential aspects that will make it easier for you to get along with that person at work. Here is a battery of factors to take into account:

  • Mutual rejection is probably not personal.
  • You don't have to like the other person, and you don't have to be friends, you just have to learn to work together.
  • Try not to be prejudiced and open the door to ideas that are different from yours and other ways of doing things.

Be yourself, be open and honest about your strengths and what you bring to the work environment.If you do all that, not only will it mitigate that feeling of rejection towards the other person, but it can also teach you how to work better in a team, and in the end, you might even value working with that person.

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